Acclaimed Bollywood and Hollywood personality Irrfan, who was diagnosed with neuroendocrine tumor in 2018, passed away in Mumbai on April 29. The actor is survived by his wife Sutapa Sikdar and two sons Babil and Ayaan who are keeping him alive through priceless memories. Sutapa, after four months without Irrfan, told a publication in an interview that with him, it wasn't love at first sight. Recalling good old days, Sutapa said she organically fell in love with him, thanks to his honesty, curiosity and passion for his craft. 

"With Irrfan it was not love at first sight at all, he was just a classmate who organically became my best friend and then special then Very special and finally most special for years and years to come. The transition happened because of his honesty, for his curiosity, and his passion for his craft. He was translucent with his pimples and head full of curly hair. He was not macho, he was not overtly masculine, which was a big thumbs up for me. Years after that I saw him breaking, one by one, all the clichés about love, girlfriend, sex, religion he was brought up to believe and question all the definitions he was told as the only truth ..he evolved beyond words," Supata told.

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An avid traveller, Sutapa remembered the first thing Irrfan told her post his cancer diagnosis. She revealed that he said he wouldn't be able to travel with her to the places she wanted to go with him. "This journey of his cancer period is like a beginning, middle, end and a separate story of ours complete in itself... a story where we both are heroes fighting the same villain… I called them (cancer cells) villain he called them 'unwanted guests'. I am an avid traveller and he always felt he didn’t do enough leisure travel with me… when we got to know about his disease first thing he said was 'I wouldn’t be able to travel with you to all the places you wanted to go with me'. That's Irrfan remembering this when you are announced you have advance stage cancer and I said, we would. My biggest pain is he believed me, he thought I could and really would be able to take him out of it," she said.

Promising that she will travel to fulfill his dreams, Sutapa, who lost the love of her life, added, " I am not claiming to be strong, I wobble, I get paralysed with pain sometimes but what I have learnt is we are just minuscule particle... he was a keen astronomy and physics lover whereas I found quantum physics beyond me when we were together but life taught through this journey quantum practically, the world beyond where we live. It seems surreal that he is no more, I miss his physical presence immensely but enjoy talking about him to myself…reliving every moment. I have understood the meaning of living for the moment and can’t say achieve it all the time but when I do it gives me immense happiness."

When asked whether Babil, after the tragedy, is matured enough to step into his father's shoes, Sutapa shared, "I don’t think anyone can fill Irrfan’s space in my life...Babil is Babil he is beautiful and he has his own fragrance… Irrfan is the fragrance I loved, respected and through many hardships and problems, the fragrance did not let us leave each other’s hand till it was curtain call and I had to let go of his hand."

(Source: Opoyi)