I was very suicidal, didn’t have any will to live: Babil I. Khan talks about life after father Irrfan's demise


While Hollywood and Bollywood lost a gem of an actor, Irrfan, on April 29, 2020, to a neuroendocrine tumour, Babil I. Khan lost a companion, best friend, guide and father. "Nobody can ever replace him. Nobody will ever be able to," Babil said in a post on Instagram on Irrfan's first death anniversary today. Remembering his father as someone who worked hard to become a great actor, Babil spoke to a leading daily about how his life underwent a 360-degree change. 

Talking about the days when Irrfan was in the hospital for treatment, Babil said, "For the first few days, Mom was like how is that he is taking it so well? I was running around, doing everything, making sure everything was fine at home and at the hospital. It was really bad, though. I can’t explain the amount of pain he was going through when he was conscious. I particularly remember when they were going to put a catheter, and asked me to leave the room, and he almost yelled, ‘Babil, tum kahin mat jao mujhe chhod ke!’ They pulled me out of the room and he screamed my name. I never felt that much pain and helplessness. I just stood there outside, hearing him scream my name." 

Recommended Read: Babil I. Khan recalls the time Irrfan built a table in hospital to write journals, shares handwritten note on father's 1st death anniversary

Babil further revealed that two days after Irrfan's demise, he went into 'deep, deep depression' and was 'very suicidal'. "I dealt with it well in that moment, but after he passed – initially, Mumma was surprised how well I was taking it – but two days after he passed away, I crashed. I just crashed. Everything shut off. I went into deep, deep depression. I can’t even explain. There was no will to wake up. I was very suicidal…," Babil shared.  

Calling his mother Sutapa Sikdar the pillar of strength, Babil said, "I was done. I didn’t have any will to live. I still struggle with it a lot. And at that time, Mumma was the strength. She has always been the strength of our family. Throughout Baba’s career. You know everyone’s like Baba was this, Baba was that – but Baba wouldn’t have been anything without Mumma, she’s been the strength of the family."

Babil has chosen to follow his father's footsteps in films. He will be making his acting debut opposite Tripti Dimri in Anvitaa Dutt's Netflix film Qala

(Source: Times Of India)