International Women's Day is an annual celebration of the cultural, political, and socioeconomic achievements of women across the globe. Celebrated on March 8 each year, the day attempts to shed light on women's rights and gender equality.
As International Women's Day is around the corner, PeepingMoon spoke to Neha Bhasin. Talking to us about celebrating the day, the singer opened up about what it is like to be born as a woman and whether celebrating International Women's Day is playing a catalyst in empowering women in reality. Neha further reacted to age-shaming and slut-shaming trolls.
Excerpts from the interview:
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What is it like to be a woman?
Being a woman is a very beautiful experience but gender difference ka ehsaas duniya zyada dilati hai. I believe a woman is the most empowering being on earth. She can create a new life, which is fascinating. I believe a woman has the largest heart, voh cheezein bana bhi sakti hai, tod bhi sakti hai. I am happy to be born a woman.
Despite being in a democratic country, do you find it hard to express your views on social media?
Despite being in a democratic country, there are limitations. We cannot speak on certain topics like religion, politics become very personal conversations.
Women are often criticized for the lengths of their necklines and hemlines....
Honestly, I have never understood this. I feel the body is one of the most beautiful things, I call it the armour under which every soul resides. Beauty has a different definition for every person. There are some who like to hide their beauty whereas some like to exhibit it. There is no morality attached to that but unfortunately, some people do attach morality to a woman’s sexuality and I have never understood that. I am someone who has always enjoyed wearing fun and sexy clothing when I am fit to show off my body. Whenever a woman puts up a picture where her cleavage is visible, suddenly her character is assassinated. People equate a woman’s character to what she is wearing.
Often, I have been called 'free-spirited'. I don’t know what that means but for me, it means apne dil ka karna hai and not just follow societal norms. When I went to Ukraine for the first time, I saw this culture of hot shorts where half of a person's buttocks would be hanging outside. I found that hot. When I wore it, I got judged for it.
Do you feel there is still a lack of gender equality in the Hindi music industry?
It is changing and I cannot deny that. More than gender inequality in the music industry, it is more prevalent in the cinema industry. There are not many songs for female characters. Even if some song is picturised on her, a male singer is singing it. In the independent space, it's better but fir bhi kam hai.
Due to a rise in social media usage, majorly women are age-shamed....
They only age-shame women. You see actors who are in their 50s romancing and dancing with a heroine who is 20 something but nobody calls them uncle. When a woman enters her 30s, she gets the tag of 'aunty'. I have been age-shamed and made to believe that main badi ho gayi hu. When I look at myself, I don’t feel I am an aunty. I don’t understand why do people remind women of their age? Terms like 'aunty' and 'uncle' were used to show respect to elders but now, it is only used to age-shame. Jennifer Lopez, in her 50s, looks hot and does songs with younger men but nobody in her country age-shames her. If you are in your 20s and unmarried, people allow you to live your life but if you are 30+ and married, they make you feel that you should be dead, have no feelings and shouldn't have the right to look sexy.
How did you deal with age-shaming?
I faced this a lot for the first time after Bigg Boss OTT/15. It is easy for people to attack a woman by slut-shaming or age-shaming her. Gandi baatein bol do, character ko assasinate kar do, buddhi bol do, yeh do-teen cheezon se hi voh aap log ko insult kar sakte hai, baaki unke paas kuch bhi nahi hai.
Initially, it affects you but later you come to a stage where you understand and remind yourself that the internet is a Deadpool of the worst of humanity. There are people who are unhappy with their own lives. People like you and me will just like a post of our favourite stars and move on. People like us are accomplished and lead happy life. These trolls lack self-esteem aur unke flaws humpe daal dete hai.
It is painful to read such things about not just yourself but others too. It is the era of the internet where people can sit in their rooms and abuse anyone and it feels like a personal attack. We are slowly building a wall around ourselves to keep us safe from people who lack love in their lives.
Men can’t tolerate strong women- myth or fact
Personally, I have been surrounded by men who are not like that. Largely, yes because we live in a sexist country but not all men are like that. My husband (Sameer Uddin) is not like that. With him, I have never felt necessary to define my gender and establish my boundaries. He has always enjoyed me basking in the limelight; he is shy so he stays away from it. He is accomplished in himself. I have been surrounded by men who empower women but I have seen people who have said, "You are a woman, stay within our boundaries."
I felt this largely during Bigg Boss OTT/15 because there were different rules for men and women. There was a large amount of judgement for women who spoke their minds and were strong.
What’s that one message you would like to give to your female fans who look up to you for inspiration?
You are the change you want to be. It is time that women come out in the open and lead a life exactly the way they want to and also empower other women to do so. I feel aurat aurat ki dushman zyada hoti hai. I have experienced this and the amount I have been trolled by women and the kind of vehement things they have said to me, I think men have never said that ever. It’s time for women to stand together and that’s how we can bring about a change. I want every woman to live her life on her own terms.
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