Veteran Bollywood actor Rishi Kapoor passed away on Thursday, April 30, 2020, after battling cancer for two years. His passing left a deep void in everyone's hearts and social media was flooded with emotional tributes for the marvelous actor. However, his family must be feeling a loss that is difficult to fulfill. Much has been spoken about Rishi's love story with his wife Neetu Kapoor but his tumultuous relationship with son Ranbir Kapoor has not been spoken much. Although their relationship repaired when the veteran actor was diagnosed with cancer in 2018, but there was a time when Rishi accepted in his forthright and honest way that he has 'screwed' up his equation with his son.
In an interview given to a tabloid in 2015, Rishi had revealed that he did not take it well when Ranbir decided to move out of the house. He said, "My father gave me space when I moved out after marriage and I give Ranbir his space too when he decided to move out. In this house, he had one room: how could that be enough for a 33-year-old boy? He’s a great son, he listens to me but I don’t interfere in his career because my career is mine and his is his. I know I’ve screwed up my relationship with Ranbir even though my wife kept telling me about what I was doing. It’s now too late to change it; both of us will not be able to adjust to the change. It’s like there’s this glass wall, we can see each other, we can talk, but that’s it. He doesn’t live with us anymore, which is also a very big setback to Neetu and me. We’re building a new home where there will be a lot of place for him and his family. Till then, life goes on."
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The actor had also expressed the sadness that he could not become a friend to Ranbir and remained a formidable father to him. He said, “Out of respect I was always very scared of my father. I don’t know about Ranbir; of course he respects me, but I’ve never been friends with him and that is my biggest drawback. It’s also a deep regret but again, I don’t know. Only time will tell if it is something that’s good or not." His relationship with Ranbir was a mirror-image to what he shared with his father Raj Kapoor. He also said, " I used to drink with my dad, though out of respect, I never smoked in front of him. Similarly, I can share a drink with Ranbir, but he doesn’t smoke in front of me though I know he smokes. I never made friends with Ranbir and though I regret it, I am also not one of those guys who would want to be on back-slapping terms with my son ."
Talking about Ranbir and his respectable behaviour towards his seniors and peers, Rishi had said, “I’m told, and I’m very proud of it, that Ranbir is very well behaved, polite, down to earth, decent, cultured, well-spoken, warm, and respects his elders. The credit for all this goes entirely to Neetu. I was diametrically opposite when I was his age, being arrogant and brattish, but what the hell? It was 1974, I was being paid a salary of Rs 5 lakh a month and half the world was crazy about me. But now I’ve mellowed.”
Rishi and Neetu were not very comfortable with Ranbir's ex-girlfriend Katrina Kaif frequenting their house. They were also not comfortable with Deepika Padukone when Ranbir and she were dating. In fact, Neetu had once said about Deepika that she is just a girl whom Ranbir is dating and she famously cut Katrina out of a family picture when she posted it on social media. After Ranbir's film Sanju released, Rishi went on record to say that his son has done exceptional work and he is very proud of him, a praise that touched Ranbir immensely.
On the other hand, Ranbir had also lamented the fact that he did not share a friendly rapport with his father. In the book Khullam Khulla, Rishi's autobiography co-written by Meena Iyer, Ranbir in the foreword had voiced his anguish of not sharing a friendly equation with his old man. He had written, "I am closer to my mother. I feel that Dad modelled his relationship with me on the one he shared with his own father. And it is true that I have never crossed a certain line with him. But there is no sense of loss or vacuum here. I do wish sometimes that I could be friendlier with him or even spend more time with him.”
“Sometimes I wish I could just pick up the phone and ask him, ‘Dad, how are you doing?’ But we do not have that. We do not have a phone relationship. When I get married and have children, I would want to change that dynamic with them. I don’t want my relationship with my children to be as formal as the one I have with my father. I want to be friendlier, be more connected, spend more time with them than he did with me."
“I love my father dearly and have immense respect for him. I’m inspired by him and never want to let him down. I know he has only my best interests at heart. He also takes care of the financial side of my work. So we are more connected now. His confidence in me and my work makes me take pride in it. I persevere that much harder because of this. His belief and his encouragement are important to me. I do not have a take on his Twitter personality. All I can say is, so long as he is being honest and having fun, it’s his prerogative. Social media is something very personal. Of course, he gets himself into a spot sometimes with his frank speak, but I know he has no agenda and no hidden motive. My father is a straight arrow."
In an interview with PTI Ranbir had said, “I want to imbibe a lot of qualities of him like his passion for cinema, hard work that he still puts in for a film after being in the industry for 35 years and his family values. I still have a little bit of a formal relation with my father but there is a lot of love and care. It has become better from before. Now, I have become a professional, so we can talk to each other about work.” When asked about his father's bold tweets, Ranbir was quick to respond saying, “He is a good man. He may be a bit brash and bit too honest, controversial in his tweets and how he puts things across but I think it comes from an honest place. He is not a hypocrite, he is a good man. I aspire to be like him but I am very far from it.”
In the days that followed Rishi's cancer diagnosis, the actor and Neetu acknowledged Ranbir's current girlfriend Alia Bhatt and even approved of her sharing pictures of them together and talking about her in interviews as well.
We hope Ranbir gets the strength he needs to take care of his family and himself in this hour of grief.
(Source: Mumbai Mirror/Khullam Khulla/Meena Iyer/PTI)
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