They came to work meaning business that Mother’s Day in 2009. The gorgeous Neetu Kapoor, then 50, one of Bollywood’s loveliest mothers, and her eye candy son Ranbir – at 27, God’s gift to women, especially all the sexy co-stars he was reportedly dating.
“She looks like my elder sister,” he grumbled of his heart-meltingly good-natured “Mom”. Together they sat down to ‘guest edit’ the Mother’s Day issue of Bombay Times of which I was then the editor. I had started the practice of inviting actors to step into the shoes of the editor and ‘guest edit’ one special edition for readers and their fans by visiting our newsroom and taking my chair.
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Neetu agreed immediately, Ranbir tagged along. While she talked about the issues that the 21st century mother had to be aware of 24/7 and deal with, he nodded his head gravely – because he had heard it all before. Neetu was known to be a doting and caring mother to her kids Riddhima and Ranbir.
Neetu did all the talking, naturally – she was the guest editor, it was a Mother’s Day issue, Ranbir sat by her side like an attentive editorial assistant, prompting her with ideas and suggestions. “A mother’s job today is no different from what it was 30 years ago,” Neetu said. She had stopped working after Dhan Daulat in 1978 to get married, build a home, and start a family with her husband, the dashing actor Rishi Kapoor.
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“I wanted to stay home and be connected with the kids,” she explained. “And my kids knew me in and out. It’s important for a mother to talk, to communicate with her children, because today my kids are about me. I could tell them what to do in their growing up years, especially my daughter – because my son I knew would one day be a man, but I couldn’t force them.”
What Neetu talked to Riddhima and Ranbir about in their formative years still remains the concerns, fears and anxieties of today’s mother. “Like drugs, date rape, unwanted pregnancy incest, sex education,” she told me. “Even obesity and correct eating habits,” she suddenly remembered. “Ranbir must have hated me because I was forever telling him what to eat and what not to. He’s a Kapoor, they like to eat, but today my kids know food.”
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She recalled being paranoid when Riddhima was studying in London and date rape (after somebody spiked a girl’s drink with a drug that induced unconsciousness) was rampant. “Till today my daughter won’t accept a drink from anyone,” Neetu said confidently. She inculcated in her kids a sense of what was right and what was wrong when they were small.
Her advice to mothers was, “Tell your kids it’s okay to do the wrong thing now and then, as long as they face the consequences with equal conviction, and then learn from their mistakes and become better persons.” It was also important for mothers to teach kids to say thank you and smile and be nice to people. “Just doing that gets you so much back. It’s important for people to like you. What you say and show outside reflects the goodness inside of you,” Neetu added.
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She had another tip for mothers: “Stay connected with your kids always, they can go wrong – no matter how old they are. I know so many people doing drugs. They ruin your life. Getting into the habit is easy, but nobody knows how to get out of it. Sex education, an awareness of AIDS, it’s so important for a mother to share this with her kids. These are important but embarrassing issues that parents tend to avoid discussing with children.”
And finally, ruffling Ranbir’s hair, Neetu imparted advice for children. “Old people, your parents, cannot be left alone. They should be taken care of. If it can be helped, at least one kid should be there for them in their old age.” Happily, Neetu and Rishi Kapoor were only in their 50s then, an energetic and handsome couple, once the heartthrobs of Bollywood in the 1970s and returning to the screen together in 2010 after 30 years in a film called Do Dooni Char. They last did the film Dhan Daulat together in 1980. Ranbir quipped mischievously, “I’m glad Mom’s leading man is Dad. I would have hated it otherwise.”
“Mama’s boy,” Neetu said, affectionately.
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