Muah, muah and more muahs to my cool rider Farah Khan! Look what the gal and her broken limb have gone and done for my image. No longer are we considered the mobility recourse of stubborn octogenarians who have to be forced into them. Suddenly, I’m the It-chair, the most wanted kursi in the country (and let’s leave Karnataka out of this, shall we?)

Not long ago Kangana Ranaut did bring my type into the spotlight as she returned to the city after an on-set injury. But that was one brief liaison; I’m currently enjoying so many up-close and personal encounters, authorities will be issuing a promiscuousness warrant against me anytime soon.

Time was when every celeb that dropped in at their BF Farah Khan’s pad, would have their mandatory pic taken in her sprawling terrace garden. Sprawling terrace garden now wilts in silence – who can compete with cool indoor wheels?!

When Anil Kapoor posed with wife Sunita Kapoor, and the chic lady settled gracefully in my embrace, I knew immediately that I had passed the style litmus test. Her fashionista daughter Sonam was too busy with her whole wedding drama else mommy and baby would have been squabbling over seating rights, I’m sure!

Truth be told, I did quake a bit when Mini Mathur sat all posy holding up the cake she’d baked. Much as I dig Mini and her even dishier husband Kabir Khan, buttery dessert crumbs in my face are so not my thing, honey.

My thanks to Zayed Khan though for generally spritzing on the deo – being so close to bare armpits in sleeveless vests in summer can be such a daunting prospect!

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bi1SkUtB0ts/?hl=en&taken-by=farahkhankunder

I was even okay with Vishal Dadlani stroking a furry rabbit till he started to unzip the poor creature. I nearly screeched out, “Bhagwan ke liye isse chhod do!” but Farah shot me a warning look just in time.

Farah’s Main Hoon Na “little star” Amrita Rao insisted on pouting for a selfie even as she got photographed. I played along. Having to settle for zero spotlight has got to be rough.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BiypQF7hWqL/?hl=en&taken-by=farahkhankunder

Maniesh Paul did his bit of playing to the gallery as he wheeled himself in but I was just too mortified by the sight of his footwear to pay him any attention. Nothing screams ‘trying too hard’ more than a pair of statement shoes in sky-blue.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BiuRIzAB8i9/?hl=en&taken-by=farahkhankunder

Feroz Khan broke into a jig sitting in my lap and the only reason I didn’t tip him over is coz he’d presented me to Farah in the first place. Call me loyal…

https://www.instagram.com/p/BitokzABkM9/?hl=en&taken-by=farahkhankunder

Photographer Avinash Gowariker wheeled his wife Shazia around like a kid in a shopping cart which was irritating in itself but gosh, that Sonu Sood is another kettle of fish altogether. The chappie actually had the gall to abuse me by doing some kind of gym routine on my handles. By the time he was done with his workout, I was a blithering mass of wobbliness.

Party’s over, darlings, I need a wheelchair myself to recover now.