Film: Kuch Khattaa Ho Jaay

Cast: Anupam Kher, Ila Arun, Atul Srivastava, Guru Randhawa, Saiee Manjrekar, Paresh Ganatra, Paritosh Tripathi

Director: G. Ashok

Rating: 0.5 Moons

Why Anupam Kher, why? When even the strongest actor makes you cringe, then there's something seriously wrong in the film. That’s what happens in G. Ashok's Kuch Khattaa Ho Jaay that releases in theatres today. It is the launch vehicle of singer Guru Randhawa. Co-starring Saiee Manjrekar, Ila Arun, Atul Srivastava, Paresh Ganatra and Paritosh Tripathi.

Ambitiously described as a rom-com drama, the film begins with an introduction of Iraa (Saiee Manjrekar), an IAS officer controlling a riot on the streets. The writers project Iraa as a flawless woman with her goals set and heart in place. We're taken back in time when she was an aspiring student with Heer (Guru Randhawa) head over heels in love with her. In the next 10 minutes, Iraa and Heer get married, succumbing to the former's family pressure. It's a contractual marriage. Heer's grandfather (Anupam Kher, unforgivably wasted) adores Iraa. The rest of Kuch Khattaa Ho Jaay revolves around how Heer's family wants Iraa to conceive and give them a 'ghar ka chirag'.

When fake pregnancy and forced sexual jokes take a break, Guru and Saiee are there to irritate you to the next level with their horrible chemistry and dull love story. G. Ashok's story has flavours. Instead of sweet, the film's final result leaves a bitter taste in the mouth. Expecting logic in Kuch Khattaa Ho Jaay is wrong but taking the audience for granted is a criminal offence. Almost every punchline sounds like a poor WhatsApp rhyming joke. In one of the scenes, Iraa's younger sister says, "Tumhari laal batti ke chakkar mein main laal jodi nahi pehen paa rahi hu." An entire drunk sequence involving a pregnancy suit brings out no laughs. Kuch Khattaa Ho Jaay is still stuck in the '80s. A kindergarten play would be more mature than this entire 2-hour and 5-minute film. But it's not even close to a film. At best, it’s an extended music video. One of the characters says, "Goli maar do." That's exactly our thought. By the end of the film, braindead, patience tested, you want to scream, "That's enough!"

Guru Randhawa has a successful career as a singer. What was the need to act? If facing the camera for music videos can give him the confidence to do a full-fledged feature film, everybody needs to take lessons in 'guts' from him. With his zero expressions, he fails to do justice to an existing poor character. We're not even talking about and expecting him to uplift the flaws and make it a better version. His dialogues appear rehearsed, screen presence is shabby and performance is weight-less. Right after a heartwarming scene, the makers throw in a party number and Guru-Saiee are dancing to illogical lyrics and a done-to-death background score. That's his comfort zone and he should stick to it. 

While we forgive Guru for attempting acting, Saiee Manjrekar, despite being an 'actor', disappoints. She is clueless and so are we. Apart from looking stunning in every frame, Iraa is far away from seeming like an IAS officer. Saiee certainly needs serious lessons in acting and Guru must join her. Her father Mahesh Manjrekar would be the right coach. Iraa could have been a more effective character but Saiee's inexperience and casual approach waters it down. But the saddest part of Kuch Khattaa Ho Jaay is Anupam Kher. He's the ONLY actor who's acting in the film but what is he even doing here? The story requires him to dramatise scenes, act loudly and say a couple of predictable dialogues. What was the need to do this? Ila Arun, Atul Srivastava and Paresh Ganatra's overacting is painful. Paritosh Tripathi manages to land a few jokes but they don't lead the film to a better place. Brahmanandam's cameo is annoying. 

This is a painfully bad film. The duration is taxing and 2 hours seem like an eternity. There are multiple climaxes but the director keeps extending the film for no solid purpose. The conclusion is disappointing and the film should have ended in an hour. Probably even that was too much as Kuch Khattaa Ho Jaay is nothing more than a stylish music video on pregnancy. Many communities are going to be offended by the filmmaker's lack of sensitivity.