For his 50th birthday today, I wish I could give Akshay Kumar a hug. But I can’t. The actor is somewhere in the Swiss Alps. Snowboarding and paragliding and doing other adventure sports that he once encouraged participants on his TV show Khatron Ke Khiladi to attempt.

This is Akshay’s high, this getaway he plans with wife Twinkle, son Aarav and daughter Nitara around the time of his birthday each year.

The kids’ birthdays also happily fall in September. And he celebrates the month by giving them all a dream holiday. It’s unconditional family time for him.

When Twinkle’s birthday comes at the end of December, Akshay takes another small break, but this time it’s to whisk her away to some romantic destination where they can be quietly together. But he has another reason to be happy today. His last film, the rather unconventional Toilet: Ek Prem Katha that no other actor-producer would have perhaps touched, has not only done record-breaking business at the box office, but it has opened the eyes of our unhygienic country to the fact that sanitation must be a priority. Akshay is more thrilled with the response to the cause than to the film.

Fifty is a milestone in anybody’s life. Especially an actor, because Bollywood is an unforgiving industry, and an actor is only as good as his last film. Look at what happened to Salman Khan and Shah Rukh Khan earlier this year! Akshay’s been down that rocky and lonely road in the past himself. Fifty is also an age of contemplation. But Akshay is not like a batsman at the crease who’s just scored a half-century and after acknowledging the praise, is carefully studying the field and taking guard for the rest of his innings. I know he doesn’t think that far ahead. Just last week he told me,

“The morning I wake up and find the passion for making films missing in me, the night I go to sleep without smiling in anticipation of my shoot tomorrow, I’ll know its time to quit.”

I have known Akshay since his Singh Is King days and have sat through some exciting blockbusters like Rowdy Rathore and Baby with him and also some absolute duds like ‘Tees Maar Khan’ and ‘Blue’. I know he revels in his work and takes the business of cinema seriously. And until his film is released on Friday and the audiences’ reaction is known, he will not be at ease. It’s a kind of stress all actors go through. “There are different highs and lows,”

Akshay once told me...

Inside the heart, what hits hardest is when you know the film you made is amazing, and it doesn’t do well. In my years in Bollywood, I have realized that every film comes with its own destiny. I always tell people that it’s 70% luck and 30% hard work.

I remember having lunch with him in his vanity van years ago at the burned down Mukesh Mills in Sassoon Docks which is Bollywood’s studio for the climax scenes of its action films. He was shooting for Khiladi 786. Fishing trawlers valiantly rode the waves with gaily painted flags fluttering from their masts in the distance. And from the Indian Navy’s heliport next door choppers took off noisily and hovered over us like giant dragonflies. He had ordered lunch for me from a Mediterranean restaurant nearby: steamed fish, roast chicken, baked vegetables, salad, and an inspiring cheesecake. Akshay himself was eating grapes and pomegranate out of a small fridge in the van. His last release, the controversial film Joker, had fared disastrously at the box-office. I asked him what his failures had taught him. And Akshay replied,

“That nothing is permanent in life. Everything has to change. Each year is a different year. You vanish from the scene one year and then you are there the next. And then you vanish again. Everything changes. I have learned not to take it seriously… success or failure, and to just keep on working hard.”

His wife Twinkle once confided to me, “Akshay’s a simple, hard-working guy, very focused in his work, incredibly smart, but he’ll never pretend to be more than what he is.”

I know this is true because when I asked him about success, Akshay said, “I do not hold God ransom to my success. Whatever is His will, is my way. I never feel any pressure about a film. What is meant to happen, will happen. I have seen failure as well as success several times. I’m a realist. Where I come from a ‘phenomenon’ doesn’t exist. I’m from a land where people make mistakes and try again – harder and faster. Negativity is not an option.”

And so, again, for his 50th year, I wish I could give Akshay a hug. This picture here is from an earlier birthday when he and I were both younger. You don’t know what a hug is until Akshay gives you one. Grinning widely, he crushes you with great strength to his chiseled body and you hear your bones creak in protest. And he warmly embraces you to his soul like he’s never going to let you go. If Sanjay Dutt has the copyright to his jadoo ki jhappi, then Akshay Kumar holds the patent to the bear hug. Consider yourself blessed if either of them favors you with one of their specials. Happy birthday, my friend.